A Multitude of Thoughts

The Decisions We Make

2009-09-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the things that we think will bring us the closest to what we truly desire, instead act with an entirely opposite trajectory. Instead of inching us closer to our desires, sometimes without even realizing, we turn around to find we are in unfamiliar territory, and entirely uncomfortable.

Do you ever feel like this? Like you're waking from a dream to find that you have no idea where you are or how you got there.

I have had many experiences like this...probably because I am a complete moron when it comes to making decisions. I have an idea of what I want to do, and where I want to go, and then I make decisions that I think will allow me to reach that goal. Sounds fairly ambitious... However, what I don't understand in this whole equation is that there is one simple word that I am overusing in the search to find my purpose..."I"....

For some reason, I allow myself to assume that I am the major decision maker when it comes to my life, forgetting that I was created by Someone else...and for a very specific purpose. My life is not my own, although the majority of people in today's society would like for you to believe just that. I was bought with a price, and belong to my Redeemer. Therefore, all of my decisions should be tempered by His control over my life. He knows what is best for me, and what I should do, and where I should go a whole lot better than I do simply because HE sees the big picture. I, however, have limited vision...and even that is a little blurry most of the time.

Whenever I try to take my life into my own hands, and make my decisions for myself rather than consulting with the Father, I ALWAYS end up on a path that is not beneficial. Most of the time that path is not destructive...but, if it is not beneficial then it is worthless!

That Which Motivates

2009-09-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the people to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I have sometimes found it interesting that in existence, there are people who are perfectly content to live in complacency...never moving forward, never searching, never reaching, simply satisfied with living life without meaning. For me, this seems like a tremendous travesty. How can you live a mediocre life when there is so much to live FOR! How can you be "okay" with that? Granted, some people say that they are not okay with it, they recognize that there is something wrong with just going through the motions, yet they remain stuck in the same old proverbial rut. If our actions do not match our words then it is all for naught.

There is a spectrum on which all of humanity can be placed. On one side of the spectrum resides those people who have lived extraordinary lives, the ones who have made their mark on history whether that influence is positive or negative. They have decided that if we are to live, we should live for something, and have run wholeheartedly toward their goal with reckless abandon. On the opposite side of the spectrum there are those who do not see the meaning of existence. They walk through life, never asking questions, and never doing anything of substance because they have bought into the lie that life is meaningless. And then there are those who live somewhere in the middle, who see that there is more to life, but have failed to act on their beliefs. They acknowledge the existence of something greater, but are too lazy or too scared to actually do anything about it.

Most of humanity falls into this middle category. Let's face it, the opposite sides of the spectrum are indeed uncommon, and not many can be placed in either of the extremes. But the middle section is rather large and varied. Some are closer to one side than the other.

So, what do we do with this mass population of people who are seemingly unmotivated? Do we sit idly by, allowing them to soak up the rays of complacency? After all, it is their choice to do (or not do) with their life what they will. However, if we do nothing, are we not just as bad as them?

So, HOW do we light an unquenchable fire of desire that will spur them on to greater passion toward life...toward making a difference...toward actually doing something? Is it even possible?

The statement that I quoted at the beginning of this post carries with it great insight and wisdom into the psyche of the masses. When it comes to building a ship...you can get the job done by instructing people as to what needs to be done. By going through the motions and directing them at each step of the way, a finished product will be produced. However, there will be no personal connection between the people and the product. It will just be "a job" to them...which is the mentality that we should try to avoid rather than foster. Antoine de Saint-Exupery's conclusion was that instead of merely giving orders on what should be done, rather we should teach them to yearn for the very reason behind the object in question. If they develop a desire for the sea then they will do whatever is necessary to get there. When the sea becomes so fundamental to living that a person actually yearns for it, the building of a ship becomes an essential aspect of life since that is the only way to commune with the sea.

The conversation thus far has been very esoteric in nature. The ambiguity was definitely on purpose. The concept of the desires of men is multifaceted and far too lengthy for discussion on a forum such as this. Not all desires and passions and yearnings are good. However, it is a part of our design to have them. Therefore, any non-use of them or any corruption of them is merely a result of our fallen nature.

The reason why this discussion is important to me stems from my passion for the God of this universe who created with a purpose and infused meaning into life and the created order. The purpose at the very core of everything that was created is to bring glory to the Creator. That is the very simple, and often overlooked, meaning that should drive our passions and desires. However, the majority of creation is living in denial of the reason for their existence. Which is why missions exists. John Piper says it best in this often quoted phrase, "Missions exists because worship does not." That is why many brothers and sisters in Christ have dedicated their lives to "living the gospel." And some have even given up their lives in pursuit of this goal (for others to hear, know, and believe the truth of Jesus death and resurrection).

I have seen and experienced far too many churches who remain so disconnected from ministry both in their own vicinity as well as "to the uttermost parts of the earth." However, I do not want to just walk away from those churches in search of people who are "like minded"...I would much rather push and prod until THOSE people are like minded. There has to be a way to encourage them into living lives of "yearning" as opposed to remaining satisfied with mediocre. I acknowledge that there is more at stake here than just changing someones mind...there has to be a "heart change"...which only comes through the working of the Holy Spirit. However, I believe that it is also our responsibility to "spur them on to good works".

So, let us "teach them to yearn"...let us lead by example!

Haven't Posted In A While

2009-09-08T05:32:00.000-07:00

It has been a considerable amount of time since my last post, for a variety of reasons. Partly because I became rather busy, partly because I wasn't sure HOW to express my thoughts, and partly because I "forgot" about the blog. So, I guess you could probably chalk it all up to "Life".

I was reminded about the blog just a few days ago when my "sister-in-law" told me that she just found the link to my blog off of Facebook. Apparently she liked what she read, and told me I should write some more...so, here I am...ready to dazzle you with my incredible insights and excessive verbiage. ;o)

However, I don't really feel like I have anything special to say...no words of wisdom, and nothing of substance to convey. The more I sit here and think about it, trying to invoke a moment of inspiration, the emptier my mind becomes. (and my mind is empty enough as it is!) I am struck by the finite-ude of my mind, my life, my entire being. My words are just that...and merely that..."words". They don't carry with them any kind of special consideration or power of any kind. Whenever I speak (or write), it is merely a manipulation of Someone else's creation. Whatever amount of communication or creativity that might sprout from my consciousness is only made possible because the One who created me (and language) is Himself a communicator and essentially creative. So, when I speak, there is no particular reason for anyone to pay attention. HOWEVER, when the One who created all there is deems us worthy to hear what He has to say, the created order would to well to listen up and pay attention. So, if you hear nothing else that I say EVER...hear now the words of the Scriptures that I quote to you, because it is the only thing of substance that I have to offer:

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your mercy, and because of Your truth. Why should the nations say, 'Where now is their God?' But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases." Psalm 115:1-3

The prayers of the "worthless"...

2009-02-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

I heard a man use the phrase “worthless sinners” in a prayer today in reference to all of us sitting around him (in a classroom of professing believers). In the context of his prayer, he was talking about the fact that we should forever remember that we are all worthless sinners. Initially, I agreed with him wholeheartedly! But, in an instant after he spoke those words in his prayer, a thought entered my mind that caused me to stop and think about what that kind of mindset might mean for us as believers.

YEAH…that’s right…we are all worthless sinners…may we never forget it! We are sinners, who have no worth of our own. Humanity is born into sin. That is 100% true. We are corrupt from infancy, and should definitely have an explicit understanding of this. Sin has corrupted our being, and we will always struggle with sin because of this. However, how does salvation change our understanding of who we are as sinners? (Or at least...how should it change our understanding?) There is a definite change that happens…and it MUST be so! Therefore, how do we allow our past sins to interact with our present state under grace? If “old things are done away with, and all things become new”…then how do we live? Should we be stuck in the past…holding on to the “old man”…or should we live in the present…with an understanding of the grace and mercy that covers us?

How many of you know someone who walks around constantly reminding everyone that they come in contact with about the pathetic state of our original nature? Sin is real, and it really affects us…BUT what about the effects of the change that was produced in us according to Christ Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross? How should that affect our lives? SHOULD IT? Absolutely…even more so than the effects of sin, the effects of grace cover us completely. How would our attitude toward ourselves and towards others change if we fully grasped the far-reaching aspects of this wonderful truth? Should we not emphasize this truth FAR above the reality of our sinfulness?

I wonder what the Father thinks about us constantly wallowing in the sinfulness of our past as opposed to having a complete understanding of the grace that was freely given to us. I guess it really all comes down to having a proper understanding of how salvation affects us.

Please don’t misunderstand me…I believe that we should have a healthy understanding of the sinful nature of man. Key word there: healthy! Is it healthy to emphasize sin whenever you get a chance? Or rather…should we emphasize the grace of God, and how that grace affects us who were once completely entangled by sin? But no more…sin no longer has the victory over us as believers! Christ paid our debt and conquered sin and the grave! Let us not allow sin (or the idea or concept of sin) to have more power in our lives than it deserves!

...Struggling...

2009-02-20T21:41:00.000-08:00

Oh To Hope

Hope holds me captive

Who knew hope could be such a cruel master

Hypnotizing me with seductive promises

All my attempts to walk away are thwarted

Deeply I love, and deeply it comes

The pain that leads down into my soul

The hurt that defines these moments

Oh to be free from such condemnation

Sorrow is birthed from contemplation

To forget, oh to forget the source

It culminates with the setting sun

And each dawn brings a renewing spark

How I wish I could just let it go

Walk away, and remember no more

To fill my heart with anything but this

My thoughts with more than just emptiness

But hope holds me captive

Who knew hope could be such a cruel master

Captivating me with seductive promises

All my attempts to walk away are in vain.

I don’t know what it is about this place that keeps dragging me to its shores. My tortured soul has found some sort of commonality or solidarity with the treacherous cliffs of this lone island of despair. I don’t know how to escape back into the sea of normality. Then again, maybe I’m not supposed to leave. Perhaps this agony is my cross to bear.

Oh how hard it is to not know whether you truly understand even the simplest tenets of love. For, it seems that the only men that I would venture to say that I have ever loved are completely unreachable for me. Am I really in love with a married man…I certainly hope not? Did I fall in love with a man that I have never seen face to face…if I did I will never know it. Is it possible that I love a man who is a non-believer…if so; nothing will ever come of it? If these “loves” can never be…then is it possible that I merely have a wrong interpretation of what love is? That would explain so many unanswered questions…yet in the same breath it raises myriads of others. Have I been deceived for my entire life here on earth, believing that I knew what love was and that I would know it when I saw it? Either way I answer that question, I encounter issues. How can I sift through these with a clear mind…without losing it!

Father…help me to see the answers clearly! Am I meant to walk this earth with only you by my side? If so, then I will gladly take your hand and watch where your feet trod. No more second-guessing…I am done with this uncertainty that plagues me. I have asked you before to reveal to me the answers that I seek, and I followed what I believed to be your direction. Father, please be clear to me! I don’t want to spend another 10 yrs chasing the mist!

Is it possible that I desire a “clear answer” more than I desire “Your Will”? Perhaps that is how I could follow after an “answer” for 10 yrs that never came to fruition…because it wasn’t YOUR answer. But…it was AN answer…and by definition, that was good enough for me.

So many people struggle with issues like these...but, very rarely are they talked about or resolved. They are allowed to fester within us until they become a monster that is not easily controlled. How should we react to our brothers and sisters in Christ who are dealing with dark secrets, or taboo subjects, or deep seeded issues? Should these things be pushed aside and forgotten because they are uncomfortable to talk about? How should we respond to our unbelieving friends who are struggling as well? They need Jesus, yes...but they also need someone who will be willing to listen! Who knows how you could affect a person's life simply be BEING THERE! Take advantage of your opportunities to minister to the people around you who are struggling (whether they are your "brother or sister" or whether they are your "neighbor"). And...if you are struggling today, why not lean on someone...let the "body of Christ" have the opportunity to actually BE the body of Christ to you!

How very Existential of you!

2009-02-20T21:27:00.000-08:00

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “There are no facts, only interpretations.” What a load of crap. If there are no facts…then what in the world are you interpreting? When you look at a picture, you have to acknowledge that there is, IN FACT, a picture there, with very specific details, and then interpret what those details mean. To pull out interpretations from thin air is foolishness! There is something that has to be concrete in order to even have a hope of making an interpretation. Without facts, there would be no interpretation!

Now, with that said…I DO agree that there can be a variety of interpretations for any given subject. Some might be right, some might be wrong…and there might be some situations where only ONE interpretation is the right one…and there might be situations where even though there are MANY interpretations that are provided, NONE of them are the correct one.

How arrogant of Nietzsche to make such a broad sweeping statement!!! To say that there are NO facts is a very direct statement that is placing forth a truth that should be accepted…. I wonder how attached he is to his own statement…because, if he really believes what he said, then his statement, in and of itself is up for interpretation.

Most people will read things like this, or hear them spoken and think…WOW, how deep! They will lean toward accepting it without even giving it a second thought. A wise person once told me that an intelligent man could make anything sound true. The only thing it takes to gain a following is to sound persuasive enough to convince people that what you are saying is true. It doesn’t matter if what you are saying is actually true…as long as you can be convincing enough to your audience. However, real truth is out there! There has to be a standard to which every other truth is measured against! “Facts” are part and parcel with life…there must be a concrete on which you stand in order for anything you say to carry relevance or meaning. Interpretations would be nothing without the facts lingering behind them!

On the Road Again...

2009-01-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

Sitting in Chicago at the O'Hare International Airport awaiting my connecting flight to Hong Kong, I am surprisingly anticipatory of my coming adventures! Although I wish that the circumstances for my current travel abroad were different, I know that great things lay around the corner. I am headed overseas to help out family due to a medical emergency. My brother and his wife had to watch as their one month old son fought for life during a horrific case of pneumonia and a variety of other complications. The path that brought me to this place, siting in this seat, awaiting the flight which will allow me to be a blessing to my family in this time of need simply fell together almost through no effort of my own. On my end, all I really did was express a willingness to go, everything else was provided for! What a blessing that was! I am glad that I am able to go, even in the midst of such harrowing circumstances. In evaluating the situation, I have realized that the immediate reason for me going is definitely because of the sensitive situation with my nephew, yet, I can not ignore that there is a greater force at work as well. My place in this world will never be the easy road, my life will never be completely full of rose petals and fluffy pillows, I know that my life will forever be far more complicated than that! And, above anything else, I know that whatever it is drawing me overseas is definitely the pull of something much greater than this situation, something similar to what could be described as ultimate destiny. (or at least that's how some people might describe it)

"Destiny" is such an interesting concept. I think that I would probably be right in saying that no two people that I have encountered in my life would hold to the same definition of such a historically fluid idea. When I use the word "destiny" or "fate" I do not speak of them as "the end" or the "driving force" of life, or some strange power that controls us and our actions...NO the power does not rest in the concept itself but rather in a someone, or better yet, THE Someone who is calling the shots. Christians might feel more comfortable using the term "providence" because it seems to be a more theological term and doesn't carry with it lingering pagan meanings.

Philosophers and theologians alike have debated this issue of providence for centuries, and debates are still being carried out even today. How does this concept play out in our life? Are all things "pre-determined"? Does free will play any part in decisions that are made? So many questions...most of which will NEVER be answered. (0r at least not to everyone's satisfaction) There are a variety of differing opinions about how much or what parts these concepts play in our daily lives. I, however, am perfectly satisfied with not having complete answers to these questions and simply knowing and trusting that God knows and is in complete control!

My home will always be the road, and my solace will always be found in the journey! I embrace this path with open arms, and yearn only to know the steps before me. I can sense the pull of Someone drawing me to join Him in a battle that has been waged for the souls of men. My life is not my own, not because it has been taken from me...but because it has been freely given to me! I would not have life unless it had been given, and therefore it is not mine to control. If I could not control its existence, then how could I possibly control any other aspect about it? There might be times when it appears that I am making the decisions (or "calling the shots"), but what cannot be seen is the guidance that is given behind the scenes. This kind of perspective can only be fully grasped in hindsight.

How do YOU feel?

2008-11-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.... The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason."

G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

How do you feel about that statement? Does it resonate with you, or are you a little taken aback by it? Does it offend your intellect? The culture that we have been born into has been utterly innundated by the concept of reason that pervades every aspect of our lives and decision making. How do we respond to people and situations? The very way we talk and even how we formulate our sentences shows the culture of reason that dictates every step we take.

I am not an expert on G.K. Chesterton, but I can appreciate the statement above as taken out of one of his more well-known volumes. It seems to me that Chesterton desires to rest in a happy medium between reliance upon reason (because he was a man of great intellect) and the understanding of the more emotional side of life (as displayed in his use of the analogy of the poet). Growing up in today's society teaches us to have an intense respect and desire for logically formed arguments and patterns of thought. To pursue that kind of mindset is indeed a much needed practice, and one that more people could stand to work towards. However, our reliance upon reason can not be allowed to overshadow the other aspects about life and living that were past down to mankind by the Creator. Like it or not, we are relational beings, and emotional beings. We have the ability to feel deeply and to express those feelings, which is one of the ways in which God created us to communicate. Understanding that there are limitations to our abilities to feel rightly or to express ourselves properly because of our nature which is tarnished by sin, I do not believe that we can abandon those things completely. However, it seems to me that there has almost been a complete withdrawal from emotions in some circles. This withdrawal is partially due to a desire to remain above reproach. The Bible does state that "the heart is deceitfully wicked, who can know it," thereby warning us of the need to be careful when dealing with our emotions. Some have interpreted this to mean that we can never or should never be emotional, or that somehow our emotions are evil in and of themselves. To carry around this kind of understanding of Scripture is detrimental to yourself and to those around you. You were not meant to live completely cut off from your emotions, and those who try to do so live very unhealthy lives. Their denial of emotions and their perspective on the evilness of "feelings" just might serve to alienate them from community, which is the way in which God desires us to live...together! For most people, their withdrawal from emotions is not this extreme. However, even a slight leaning to the far right could be a little too much!

I think that all of us could stand to encounter our "inner poet" and breathe in deep! Embrace a more balanced understanding of life and love. Don't over-think life to the point in which you lose yourself in your own desire for reason. Take a step back and stand still...with a full on view of what we are looking forward to, and what this life is pointing toward! Revel in the grace and mercy of our God to give us such a beautiful way of expressing ourselves through emotions! Don't be afraid of them...but embrace your emotional side, and allow the Holy Spirit to temper it with His perfect understanding!

Beware the Unrequited...

2008-11-18T01:15:00.000-08:00

"I have found, almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, 'Journeys end in lovers meeting.' Oh, what an extraordinary thought! Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe that Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its shear power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare, who also said, 'Love is blind.' Now, that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But, then of course, love can also be found, even if only for the night. And then there's another kind of love, the cruelest kind, the one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that, I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But, what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone. We are the victims of the one-sided affair; we are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the un-loved ones, the walking wounded, the handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space."

This is the opening speech for the movie The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Jack Black.

When I first watched this movie in the theater and listened to these opening lines, I was assaulted by intense feelings of pain and understanding, welling up inside of me until they overflowed in tears that mirrored the past eleven years of my life. My reaction was literal sobbing! Not exactly the kind of reaction that was expected or warranted...but, the personal connection was too great at the moment for me to hold in my emotions. When I told my roommates about it, they had yet to see the movie...so, when they first watched it they came away wondering why it had affected me to that extent. The only answer that I have to that query is, a personal connection. I resonated with the character as she was in the beginning of the movie. She found herself in a situation of "unrequited love." To love a man who was not, or could not love her fully.

For me, the only experience that I have with "romantic love" is unrequited love. I have reciprocal love with friends and family, but a romantic love is different. For ten years I loved one man...and one man only. I have thought long and hard about that entire situation, and I think that I can say with confidence that there were intense and very real feelings of love for him. The details are not important for this post, only to say that I loved him, and it ended with him walking down the aisle with another woman. To say that it was devastating does not encapsulate the situation properly. I was not broken from it...and moving on, away from him was not hard because there was no real choice to be made about it, that choice was made for me. I was not broken, but there was pain involved. Unrequited love is a hard thing to overcome. There are other situations with other guys, but the example given was the longest and most intense example that I could give...no one wants to hear about all of them. Suffice it to say that the only way that I have ever loved has been of the unrequited variety.

Nobody likes to talk about the love of one who has been spurned repeatedly. Unrequited love does not get a whole lot of "air-time" on the big screen. It's all flowers and fluff! When people turn to entertainment, they want something that is going to make them feel good about themselves, not something that is going to remind them that life doesn't always end with roses. Situations don't always turn out how you think they will...or want them to. Sometimes they do...but, it is not the norm, and cannot be expected.

Even in this tale of a woman who was originally "unloved," she does not stay that way. By the end of the movie, she has overcome her attachment to the man who did not love her. She systematically moved him out of "that place" in her heart and replaced him with a man who did love her. The entire story was presented in an attempt to convince the audience that, this too could happen for you. So sing songs and lick rainbows! (I'm not quite sure where that came from...but, it's kind of fun and random, so I'm leaving it in here.)

I am SO tired of the Hollywood glamorization of the "love story." It has spun out of control, and has conditioned the audience for unrealistic expectations for life situations. Because the majority of movies show love stories in which there are two people who love each other, who overcome some kind of obstacle, but in the end they always wind up together. Therefore, when your real life situations don't end up like the stories that you've become accustomed to seeing you think there is something wrong. You begin to seek out that "Hollywood" moment. And when you can't find it, you move on until you find your adventure or spark again. I wonder if there is a connection between this misconception about relationships and the growing rate of failed marriages. Very few people are willing to look beyond the glamorization of relationships and actually work on sustaining them. But, if your concept of love comes from the movie screen...there's no wonder that you keep looking when you don't see that in your own life.

For me...I know that "love is different than you'd think, it's never in a song or on a TV screen, and love is harder than a word, said at the right time and everything's alright, love is different than you think." A well-worded thought brought to us by Caedmon's Call. I am not discouraged by my lack of Hollywood style love (at least, not anymore)...infact, it excites me that it is not present in my life because it is a false concept. Whenever the Father sees fit to bring me a romantic love that is mutual and complete in Him, I know it will be wonderful...and vastly greater than anything Hollywood could provide. I don't want false promises; I want genuine affection. The Father has shown me unconditional love, and given me a guide by which to measure all other love. I am resting on His promises, with grace and understanding to guide me. The Father loves deeply and completely, this is how I desire to love, and this is how I desire to be loved.

Be careful what your words say...

2008-08-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who is currently serving overseas in Iraq. He is a good friend, and he knows that I care about him, and that I pray for him constantly, especially given his current situation. I know that war is hard and that it is bloody and disturbing. I know that his daily situation is more volitile than I have ever experienced in my lifetime. I have a theoretical knowledge of his present situation, but not an experiential one. Every time that I talk to him, I get the feeling that he is attempting to fill the gap between my theoretical knowledge and my experiential knowledge by giving graphic details about different things that happen to him.

In his most recent communication with me, he told me that he got "blown up" in his vehicle. My mental reaction to this was...WHAT!!!! Then how are you writing to me? [[Because of the language he was using, I was envisioning a missile hitting the car and blowing it to pieces including the passengers inside of it...and the picture that my mind was drawing for me did not lend to survivors.]] A myriad of questions filled my mind. Like, what happened? Are you okay? Are you missing limbs? Are you coming home? ...and I had to remind myself that beyond all the questions I was raising, I must remember that I was actually having a conversation with this man, so the worst possibility was not true...

After continuing in the conversation, trying not to overreact, I realized that when he said that he got blown up...what he was really saying is that the vehicle ran over a land mine in which damages were sustained to both the vehicle and the personnel inside the vehicle. By the end of the conversation, I realized that it was not quite as serious as my missile scenario, and an overwhelming sense of relief rushed over me. Even though he was bruised and bleeding, he was able to bandage the wounds of the others involved in this incident. Praise the Lord!

Based on this conversation that I had with my friend, I began to ponder the meaning of words and expressions and the impressions that we leave with people simply by the manner in which we speak, or the words we choose to use, and how we package our delivery.

An important detail that I must remember about my friend's personality is that he belongs to that grand classification of people who react to situations emotionally. I do not believe that it is automatically bad or wrong to react to situations emotionally, as long as your emotions are tempered with reason. In my friend's case, he tends to speak dramatically and overemphasize any issue that he is talking about. For this reason, I feel that I must adjust my reception of the words that he speaks based on this understanding. I cannot accept his words literally when he speaks, I must be sensitive to this preexisting condition in him. To understand this concept will greatly enhance our interaction when talking to him in the future.

Beyond any personal connection to understanding my friend, there are also other aspects that should be taken into consideration. For instance, this opens a much wider door into how my own words affect those people who might be listening (the number is few indeed...I know!). Communication can be a very difficult game to play because of all the variables involved. It is extremely important to take all parties involved into consideration when attempting to communicate. The speaker is not the only one who is connected to the communication process...and neither is the hearer for that matter. There can be a multitude of misconceptions on both sides. Word choice, phraseology, analogy, emphasis, voice inflection, mannerisms, gestures, etc. are all important aspects that go into the communication process. It is not only what you say, but how you say it. How you say something communicates a very specific aspect to those listening to you...and you must always be conscious of this characteristic of communication. Be careful what you say, and how you say it! Make sure that your "hearers" are actually hearing (i.e.. understanding) what you are trying to convey. To do this, you must guard your words and your actions.